SLIDELL SCROLLS: CHAPTER TWO

Slidellutations my friends,

I feel trained in many arts after the past seven days. They call me, "Elder Boyd: Car Weasler Extraordinaire, Seeker of Government, and your friendly neighborhood magician." Or at least, that's what they SHOULD call me, considering previous events. Our scroll has been inked with the pen of adventure.. so please enjoy this week's, SLIDELL SCROLLS: CHAPTER TWO. 

Allow me to elaborate:

Car Weasler Extraordinaire:

We spent the two hours following P-day in quite the automobile fiasco. To make things brief: a member calls and tells us his car needs to be jumped. Fun fact: missionaries cannot jump other cars (exception to mission vehicles)- so we texted a nearby member and had HIM come and jump his car. Apparently, this new truck constantly changes CD's and therefore.. the power is sucked dry throughout the night. Anyways, we jump his car... everything is fine and dandy.. until he locks his keys in the truck. SO, we spent the next two hours weaseling our way through his window cracks with a piece of bark as a shiv and an unwound coat hanger as the tool of weaseling. Alas, we were without anything but the look of missionary stress, level 3. THAT IS UNTIL, this alternative hipster and his baby husky, "Frito" come along with a sheriff and get into the car in less time than it took to unwind the coat hanger.. so yeah... Car Weasler Extraordinaire on a resume? Don't mind if I do... 

Seeker of Government:

Basically, we tracted into the newly elected Mayor of Slidell, and he actually had a great interest in our message. The irony of the situation was that we should've predicted it was the MAYORS house we were knocking on.. because his lawn was decorated with more campaign signs than strands of grass. 

Friendly Neighborhood Magician:

Well, the secret is out. Elder Boyd knows a card trick or two... and as of now, Elder Spencer and I are incorporating a combination of such card shenanigans into spiritual thoughts. So, watch out world... Elder Penn and Elder Teller are coming to your dinner appointments.. in style. 

AND, as is typical with these scrolls.. we have QUITE the story for Y'all:

STORY TIME: 

So, we may or may not have run into the literal incarnation of Simon the Sorcerer from Acts chapter 8, in the Bible. But, for confidentiality sake, we'll call her Susan. Susan the sorceress.

A LITTLE BACKSTORY:

Louisiana is a land of creatures. I'm pretty sure this bayou is the breeding ground for, "Satan's Next Top Carnivore" because some of the insects and creepy-crawlies down here are on a whole new level. Bed-bugs for instance: haven't had them.. but the stories alone are enough to inspire fear in the hearts of the entire human race. Anyways, the Sisters in the Slidell Area caught themselves their very own infestation of such buggers, and so NOW all of their people, have become our people. Henceforth, this past week has been a lot of catch-up and visitations with a few of the elect the previous sisters were working with... Susan happened to be one of these lucky few. 

Now, at first sight, Susan is elect. Seriously, we walk through her door with the entire intent of just getting to know her and her background... BUT MY LANTA THIS WOMAN WAS ON PAGE 325 OF THE BOOK OF MORMON AND LEAD US ON A LITTLE READ-A-LONG OF THE WAR CHAPTERS. Definitely wasn't expecting that.. and you would think, "my, oh my, after reading three-fifths of a divine book.. you'd HAVE to know it was true and get baptized at the sight of the font" yes? Well, this wasn't exactly the case, you see.. because Susan, as we have previously mentioned, is a sorceress. 

She LOVES the Plan of Salvation- especially the part about opening portals to other dimensions, like the Spirit World, and becoming anew with our, "debonair spiritual auras." Not only this, but Susan, she can see other realms.. and sometimes, she watches her flat screen, and suddenly a crystal ball archetype takes its place and she is left watching a play by play of her neighbors house.. everything in exact time as she lurks into her TV and predicts their every movement. Oh, and she doesn't believe in martyrdom. It's actually facade wrapped up in the government's way of brainwashing the elect into conforming to Christianity.. oh, and she was willing to buy the gift of the Holy Ghost from us... She does, however, LOVE the Book of Mormon- hates the Bible- and fully believes with all of her heart that if she was baptized, her powers would go away, and she would no longer possess the gift of divinity as it is replaced with the gift of the Holy Ghost. 

Okay, I'll stop. Welcome to Louisiana, where the crazy just keeps getting crazier. :) 

In other, AWESOME news, a less active we have been working with since I got here, came to church this past Sunday, which was.. as I have said... AWESOME! And on the way home from mission leadership council, I was asked to give a blessing to a member I had never before met, but when I laid my hands upon her head.. I felt like I knew exactly what she was going through and what blessings she needed at that time. I know the Priesthood is real and I know that this church is true. It was at that moment that I knew.. it didn't matter that I knew her.. but God knew her. He knew her perfectly, he knew what she had been through, and through me.. was able to give her that witness. The same goes for all of us- God knows us better than we know ourselves.. and not only is he IN the details of our lives.. he has created the details of our lives. 

Well, Y'all in closing, I think it is suitable to mention.. our mission merges in five days! As of next week, the LBRM (Louisiana Baton Rouge Mission)  mission family.. becomes 2x larger.. so please, send out a special prayer for those Mississippi missionaries, that they may feel our love for them.. and that the merger will go smoothly and we will become one big, happy, and unified family!

Oh, and I love Elder Spencer. He is awesome and every day we find new ways to get along with one another... He is a heaven-sent companion. 

Thanks, Y'all! Have a stellar week! Go out and FIND the mayors of the world, share a message with them, unlock their cars with coat hangers, and spread little shenanigans every once in a while! (Of course.. please do not take this literally..) YOU'RE ALL DIVINE. ELDER BOYD LOVES YOU!!

Lots of Louisiana lovin',

Elder Boyd

Pictures This Week:

Picture courtesy of President & Sister Varner:

 Mission Leadership Counsel

 Picture courtesy of President & Sister Varner:

Mission Leadership Counsel

SLIDELL SCROLLS: CHAPTER ONE

Well, I'll be darned,

Let me sing the holy praises of Slidell and this inspired transfer for a good minute:

MY COMPANION: 

Elder Spencer. We're kind of like dairy-free cheese and pizza, because we work so well together, and it's quite the beautiful masterpiece. We have JUST the right amount of same interests to accomplish optimal companionship bonding, and JUST the right amount of differences to be fascinated with one another. He is a stand-up comedian and a half- so hilarious, I've cried more times than a hand can count, and as punny as I. He's an INCREDIBLE missionary, you would never think he's been doing this for less than three months. Our teaching vibe just.. "clicks".. and he's humble, loving, and obedient. I could write a WHOLE 'nother scroll just about how fortunate I am to be his companion- but let's leave it at- this is going to be a good six weeks and I know this companionship, like everything else in these past eight months, is inspired. 

THE AREA AND THE WORK:

It's po dunk palace for sure. I've been here a total of, four days? And it's already got more country than Blake Shelton riding a pig to the CMA's- but... I love it! I'm following in some hardworking footsteps.. and upon meeting all of these investigators... I can tell without a doubt that they were taught by some incredible missionaries. Here's to praying I can fill these shoes and help the work move forward. Just for giggle's sake however.. these people are their own kind of crazy.. so, here's a little description of some of the people we're dealing with... Little did I know, I would become a licensed psychiatrist in four short days...

--- a jacked steampunk machinist (currently working on a jet engine Mario kart) who will DENY the divinity of the Book of Mormon at all costs because it has nothing in it that doesn't reside in the "King James." He loves to argue, detests chicken and analogies, and has a grandson named Jeremy that reminds him of me in a former life in the twilight zone. 

--- an atheist.. who upon meeting with us... progressively turned agnostic.. and then Chrisitan.. and then, willing to pray to know if the Book of Mormon was true... who wishes he was a firework, walks 15 miles to work every day in his moon shoes, can't pronounce the letter, "b", and has a Legend of Zelda triforce tattooed on his upper calf. 

--- the most adorable 96 y/o woman, who gets covetous about our pamphlets, has a pit bull on steroids, and refers to me as, "Wizard Boyd."

And that is just a little taste of the beautiful people in this promised land.

OH AND THEY HAVE THE MOST INCREDIBLE FOOD BANK, I AM IN VOLUNTEER HEAVEN.

Last but not least...

THE WARD:

These members are heaven sent for sure. We've been fed more times this week... than my entire time in Thibodaux. And THAT is but a small testament to the incredible people they are. The ward has PEWS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. I REPEAT PEWS. Tender mercies as a missionary.. looks like, for six weeks at least, my derriere will not be confined to the chill of a metal folding chair. We have, yet again, a meal calendar, and the dynamic and Spirit of this ward just seems.. good. In fact, last night, we double-dipped our meal appointment.. and after GORGING on a ribeye steak.. we went to the next home to enjoy some plump, homemade, ground beef. Needless to say, I think I'm going to like it here. 

AND THAT IS OUR LITTLE SCROLL INTRODUCTION. Please continue... *scroll*ing for further goodness...

A little experience:

A referral from God puts you in the best position to accomplish the best work in your mission. 

Elder Spencer and I decided, being the good missionaries that we are, that our uncontacted referrals were of the utmost priority. We had some dating back to over 673 days ago.. so we figured it was about time that they received a little visit from the missionaries. One referral in particular, upon arriving, told us to come back in 30 minutes so she could, "shower and spruced up for the missionaries." Suspicious, yes indeed. ALAS, we took no thought of what else we should do.. and went along our merry way. THIS IS WHERE IS GETS SUPER SPIRITUAL. Left without a backup plan, Elder Spencer and I were without an idea of what we should do with the next 30 minutes of our missionary careers. However, amidst the veil of indecisiveness... I had a thought.. a typical missionary thought.. pray about it. It's something I've taken quite a fancy to do while on my mission, and something I feel we could do a lot better at as members... when you don't know what to do.. pray about it. SO, we did just that. Right outside our big red truck, we folded our arms and offered our plans to the Lord. Now, here is my side of the story... As we were seeking inspiration.. and between the beautiful words of Elder Spencer.. my mind and attention were drawn to a familiar sound...I heard a colony of kiddos screaming and having the time of their lives... and I immediately knew, that was God directing us to where we were needed... When we said, "amen" we stared at one another for a solid thirty seconds.. until I spoke up and said, "Elder, we need to go to that house." In return I received the most righteous smolder from my companion.. he had received the same impression. UNBEKNOWNST TO ME, this particular house had a red door.. and in Elder Spencer and his former companions case.. that meant, "the elect." We had no prior communication of this correlation.. so we immediately recognized this as an inspired decision. The moment we knocked, I knew we were exactly where we were supposed to be. The kindest woman opened up the door and upon hearing our introduction, invited us inside. We had the most incredible Restoration lesson... and as if it couldn't get any better- she recognized the Book of Mormon. Yes, ladies and gentleman, this woman we had knocked into.. had been taught by previous missionaries.. but wait, there's more. She was almost baptized, but in the craziness of transfers.. her missionaries got doubled out and left her with no follow-up UNTIL God blessed us to be apart of her life and introduce the Gospel to her once again. I repeat,

A referral from God puts you in the best position to accomplish the best work in your mission. 

...oh, and as a side note.. we went back to see that referral and had a spectacular Book of Mormon lesson, committed her to be baptized on contingent truth, and she agreed to come to church. So yeah, we're #blessed in the holy land of Slidell. 

We've got a few people that we've taught set up for baptism at the end of this month, already, and I attribute it solely to God's merciful hand giving this area the jump start that it needed... I really am sincerely stoked to serve here and participate in the inevitable miracles to come. Every fear I've had regarding transfers. has been triumphed through faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. God really does know our struggles and our anxieties, our desires, and our wishes... I mean, dang, this place even has workout equipment better than Thibodaux. I know that I am here for a reason and I know that all of this.. even misunderstanding a one transfer area.. is all for a divine purpose. I am eternally grateful that God is giving me an environment where I can become more refined and worthy of the family and life he has blessed me with. I'm excited to see what man I become as a result of Slidell... It's easy to say that change is easy.. but it's only when we embrace the change, that we realize the change was worth it. 

Here's to more hellos and another six weeks of adventure and change.

Y'all, thank you, SERIOUSLY, for all of the support. I know that God is good in part because of the people he has blessed me with. You are all beloved sons and daughters of God.. and I pray for you collectively every day. Go out and find an adventure of your own... embrace the change.. and don't be surprised if you come out different because of it.. better because of it. God knows what he's doing- so trust in him, and you'll be alright. HAVE A GREAT WEEK Y'ALL, ELDER BOYD LOVES YOU!

Lots of Slidell lovin',

Elder Boyd

This Week's Pictures:

Some Companion Pranks:

Pic From Member (Edited):

THIBODAUX TALES: CHAPTER SIX

Well, Ya'll, 

Have you ever thought that you've had the Lord figured out? That your detective license was more valid than any revelation or inspiration you could receive? That the Lord has, "patterns" and in your humble mortality you've as cracked the code and determined your own will? 

Well. Let me be the first to tell you- don't do that, it's a bad idea, the Lord has an interesting way of INSTANTLY humbling the haughty hearted. You can do all you can to plan.. but you're always planning a Plan B. And let's be honest, even if you can't see it, Plan A is always better. My detective license is revoked, I'm through predicting mysteries, and finished with finagling the Lord.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I've been transferred. 

I must say, I didn't see it coming, and I think that's how God likes it. As a matter of fact, in a time of confusion and misunderstanding, I could think of nothing to do but get on my knees.. and the resounding answer I received was, "missions aren't supposed to be comfortable." It was President Uchtdorf who said, "we must get comfortable with the uncomfortable." So I guess all signs are pointing towards an adventurous mission of constant change and growth- so might as well get used to not getting used to things. Don't get too attached to your shacks on the bayou... God might have a greater mansion in store. 

I'm headed to the homeland of Slidell. I'm still a Zone Leader, just in a different zone, and my new companion will be Elder Spencer. Elder Sellers will be staying in Thibodaux with Elder Davis, who will be the new District Leader. I'm back in a quadship with Elder Hernandez, and my Zone Leader companion will be Elder Jones- who is going to be serving in Mandeville. Basically just a bunch of mission jargon that means, we're off on another adventure.. already. 

Our tale was short but explosive. Allow me to reflect on the greatness that was my one and done in Thibodaux with Elder Sellers:

• I have treasured the time spent with the Greek Freak, Elder Sellers. The inside jokes, the workouts, and the Singing Sundays have made this one mighty companionship full of voice cracks.
• We churned that dairy-free butter and with that contagious greenie fire, catalyzed the crops and harvest in the vast fields of Thibodaux.
• This ward has some of the most efficient, willing, and dedicated people I have met in Louisiana. The ward councils here run like a well-oiled machine and the leadership really know how to minister to the individual and join in the churning of the work.
• I must be honest- that shack on the bayou is going to be quite hard to let go- I will always treasure our morning duck watching escapades and crocodile hunting.
• Some of the Elders in this District have become some of my closest friends.. although the Elders Quorum District is no more, I have renewed faith that friends can be found anywhere.
• The work here.. was accelerating. I've formed bonds and relationships with some investigators here... that I could see in that glistening white. Alas, I am humbled and honored by my role as the planter and look forward to the great harvest of Elder Sellers and Davis!

-I could honestly go on for a good minute more, but I'm just going to pray that miracles have not ceased... and that this won't be the last I see of Thibodaux.

We did have some stellar experiences this past week- I was PRIVILEGED, DARE I SAY BLESSED, TO GO ON EXCHANGES WITH ELDER CARTER. Just like olden times, our time together was a trip. One of our investigators had a vision...

-in her own words-

"I saw two angels wings.. spiraling in a reverse direction. The hue of the feathers was a dark and ominous color. As I glanced over, I witnessed the wings.. stuck in the tree.. looming over the Catholic Church. I could've sworn they were moving.. ever so slowly... I watched.  until suddenly a voice echoed in my head, "they don't know how close the end is." Spooky, no?

Well, my homeboy Elder Carter went all, Joseph of Egypt on our visionary woman and INTERPRETED EVERY DETAIL OF HER VISION. DOWN TO THE VERY FEATHER. I have never been so honored to call him my companion once again. We shortly got back on topic and discussed with them the Restoration, and I must say.. she was not the only one who walked away more converted from our appointment. As I bore testimony about the sacrifice and mantle of the prophet Joseph Smith, I was nearly brought to tears... I felt so emotionally connected and appreciative of his ministry and service. It was sincerely enough to make a grown man cry... I KNOW that Joseph Smith was a prophet. I have no doubt about that. And with the knowledge, I continue in the wisdom that this church is true and the Book of Mormon that comes with it. I love this Gospel with all my heart.. and those were real tears- something only true conviction and testimony could produce. This church is true and the book is blue.

Elder Sellers and I also had an inspiring experience as we were shoved away in a trailer park only to be beckoned for not shortly after by the most lovely woman. GET THIS: she thought we were the Jehovah's Witnesses so she stopped us in our tracks wanting to study with Jesus people.. BECAUSE, she recently went on a little Google Search and typed in...

"How can I strengthen my relationship with God?"

She clicked on the first result and was lead on an adventure and questionnaire about repentance and forgiveness.. and at the end the website offered her, "two bibles." LITTLE DID WE KNOW, that "website" was Mormon.org.. and one of those two bibles was the Book of Mormon. When we shared our message with her, she said it sounded too familiar.. and as we bore testimony of the Book of Mormon she quickly ran inside and showed us her copy. I was personally dumbfounded.. she wants to study with us three times a week now and is ready for the next step in her discipleship. Elder Sellers and Davis are gonna have a good time with her. :)

WELL Y'ALL:

I've learned a lot about myself in these past six weeks. Everything I was anxious about.. every little particular detail.. has slowly but surely become comfortable. I think that is a lot of what our investigators must feel when we drench them with our celestial super soakers in knowledge of the restored Gospel. It's different. It's scary. And naturally.. resistance is inevitable BUT, slowly and surely.. adjustment follows suit.. and you realize that there was no lack of preparation on God's part.. but a lack of faith on yours. It's been good Thibodaux. I think a suitable farewell can be found in a flashback..

*cue fancy ripple effect as a stare off into the distance evokes a scene of both nostalgia and insanity*

*preferably sung to the tune of Duck Tales..*

Life is like a hurricane
Here in Thibodaux. 
Crawfish, gators, etoufée, 
It's country! yeah, bro! 
We might teach a lesson, 
Or find some Cajuns! 
Thibodaux Tales! (a-woo-oo)
Teachin' peeps what we believe in
Thibodaux Tales! (a-woo-oo)
Not Slidell tales or BR tales but
Thibodaux Tales! (a-woo-oo) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little town, it's a quiet village,
Every day, tracting all these doors,
Little town, full of crazy Cajuns...
Waking up to say...

HEY, Y'ALL, 
Y'ALL FIXIN TO POP SOME MUDBUGS IN THE ICE BOX AND HAVE A GATOR WRENCHING, YEE-HAWING GOOD TIME?

So, we conclude our tale. I'll miss Thibodaux and everything and everyone that came with it.. but I know the Lord has other plans for me. Time to get comfortable with the uncomfortable... SLIDELL HERE I COME.

Tis the end of a tale...

Anxious, but willingly submissive,

Elder Boyd