You know what they say, a lot can happen in three days.
*Alluding to the fact that I last inscribed the head things upon these plates three reigns of judges ago... assuming that a judges' life span is 24 hours.*
Three days later...
I've learned a lot in the past three days-- I mean, it is the Lord's university we are enrolled in after all. The only way you learn nothing from a professor is to do nothing-- nothingness cleaves unto nothingness. Well, as we have been anxiously engaged in the best cause this week, we have truly been about to cleave unto the King of something, even Jesus Christ. To paraphrase the lessons I have learned, it could be summed up in a simple phrase; "by the grace of God, I am what I am." I am answered. I am worthy. I am free. I am enough. I am loved. I am a child of God. Having prayed for charity, I am filled with his grace. Having feasted upon his words, I reflect and rejoice. I feel...joy. I feel as Alma did, "[singing] the song of redeeming love, having experienced a mighty change of heart and, [feeling so NOW!]." It is as if, I was Prometheus, of whom it was said, he was shackled, bound, chained... left only to be separated from himself by the villain of his soul-- but now I am free. Free from the bonds of a self-inflicted chain-- yes, you heard that right. May the lesson be learned, that as children of God we are the ones who bind ourselves. Satan only has the power that you give to him. And oftentimes, it is through that bondage, that we distance ourselves from who we really are. We allow Satan, and the winged servants who uphold his work, to stick their beaks into our spirits, with the separating tear of divine identity. The moment we realize that those chains are tethered by our personal agency is the same time we break. free. Sometimes we are chained by decisions, sometimes disobedience, sometimes people in our lives, and sometimes... our doubts and our fears are the very links in the chain that immobilize us from conquering Satan and his pathetic chicken army. When we choose to act in faith and to act righteously, we, "shake off the awful chains by which [we] are bound" and start to soar. We are capable of flying if we let ourselves go. To put off the natural man (Mosiah 3:19) is to choose to fly. And to conquer Satan also means to conquer ourselves... Those pieces of adequacy and worth that Satan tries to so subtly separate from us, deserve to stay. I too, feel free. I feel deserving of the flight. And I am determined to take my chains, to bind my eagles, and to fly. Welcome to fly school, my friends. Together, we will learn how to soar in...THE GONZALES GAZETTE: CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
I feel as to quote Elder McConkie in summarizing my purpose here in the last 23 months...
By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is my master and He has chosen me to represent Him–to stand in His place, to say and do what He Himself would say and do if He personally were ministering to the very people to whom He has sent me....My Commission is to do what He wants done, to say what He wants said, to be a living modern witness in word and in deed of the divinity of his great and marvelous latter-day work.
And THAT is the greatest thing that I am. Oh, the mercy of our loving Father in heaven, that he would let a soul so rebellious and proud as mine, represent his pride and joy. I love representing Jesus Christ. In the latter days, as the world ripens in iniquity, it helps to remember who we represent. We represent someone who overcomes. We represent a man well acquainted with sorrows and grief, but who chose the joy before him to endure the obstacles placed within him. What laid before him and behind him, paled in comparison to what was inside of Him-- to what is inside each of us. The very embryo of heaven is within your very soul. As a missionary, one of my greatest joys is to help others to remember who they are. Notice that word, remember...
It is already within us to be who we are. And naturally, when a trial comes around, we complain and murmur at the external disappointment of our present circumstance... but do we realize, that it is those very trials that carve our character? Helen Keller once said:
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Christ understood this, and that is why he endured. As representatives of Him, we also represent his endurance. We too can and should endure for the joy placed before us, as we carve our characters through trials of representation. It is only fair to assume that in order to be like Him, we must also experience a small part of what he experienced... it is only in and through that suffering that we become finished according to the flesh.
How about those Book of Mormon videos, eh?
Reminds me of a good friend. His name is Nephi.
Nephi and I have had a lot in common this week. Literally speaking (no I have not been equipped with force lightning to zap my murmuring brothers, and no I am not charged with, "decapitation by obedience", nor am I "Boyd Almighty" preparing my Jerusalem cruiser to sail the promised seas)...I have likened through principle, the experiences of my good friend.
In making decisions, the issue isn't in receiving the right answer-- God can do that. I have faith that this man knows how to answer prayers. If a man asketh for a rock, he would give a mountain. If he asked for a snake, he'd provide a dragon. I don't doubt that. Rather, it is a matter of asking the right question. Recently, I've had to build a few boats. I know the end goal-- the promised land is looking mighty desirable. I know the "where", I know the, "what.." but the how has been a different kind of action. It seems to me that whenever God needs a boat in the scriptures, it always ends up being a lesson learned in agency vs. revelation. A fine balance indeed. What, "right questions" did Nephi ask? Well, instead of asking how to build the boat, he offered a much more feasible proposition (paraphrasing here), "where can I find the ore to build the tools to build the boat? What is my ore? What are my tools? How can I build my boat?" Brothers and Sisters, I am sure this is a worldwide existential quintessential dilemma. These are questions I have long awaited answers for-- and while I was so focused on the answer, I completely neglected the question. I can testify that when Nephi started asking the right questions, he started receiving the right answers. Likewise, as I have started to "pray like it all depends upon him, and work like it all depends upon me" I too have received my right answers. Nephi eventually built his boat. He found his ore, he built his tools, and despite opposition-- he built his boat (with a little help from the force.) We too can sail our promised seas when we start asking the right questions and acting upon the right answers. And those right answers, are miracles in the lives of the inhabitants of men...
SPEAKING OF MIRACLES, CATCH THIS SPIRIT:
Before we start, I just want to say, I can testify of the personal difference I have felt in my life between when I start my day reading the Book of Mormon and when I don't. To study is to put upon ourselves the whole armor of God. We are defenseless against principalities, powers, and the ruler of darkness and spiritual wickedness when we trust in the armor of man. Anyways...
We were headed to Clinton Mississippi, also known as the promised land to many, to set up some beds for four Sister missionaries in their apartment. Before we headed up to Jackson, we stopped at the mission office and lo and behold... the Lord had delivered a juicy manifestation of the spirit- right in our very hands. We saw some of our [sweaty] brothers in Christ working on the chapel at the mission office. Elder Jones and I made eye contact and said to each other, "temple." We stepped out and met the elect. Our brothers in Christ. Two miracles happened in this situation: the inner miracle; conversion. The outer miracle; they were temple landscapers. Out of the depths of humility, we found the pearls of greatest price. We talked about the temple, inviting their families, and how beautiful the outside looked. Suddenly one of them remarked, "we made the outside beautiful, but the Lord made the inside beautiful." A touching sentiment indeed. They were the ones who curated the outer parts, but they couldn't even imagine how the inside compared. I'm sure our Heavenly Father feels the same about the inside of us. Sure, the outside looks beautiful, but wait until you see the inside. "For God looketh not on the outward appearance, but on the heart." We went inside and got them some waters and when we came back out, they asked if we could pray for them! LET ME REPEAT, THEY ASKED. THEY ASKED IF WE COULD PRAY. My standards for agency must've been pretty low, because I was hyped out my mind. We joined hands and called on the powers of heaven for special blessings on our beloved brothers. After leaving, I couldn't help but think about the respecting of persons. Our friends, too, were beautiful on the inside, despite their sweaty exterior. And OFF we went to Clinton...
Did you know miracles also hide within the silver lining of a Wendy's biggie bag?
As we took no thought beforehand what we should eat or drink (D&C 84:81), a member paid for our Wendy's. NO, I am not saying free food is a miracle... okay, maybe I am... but the person who paid happened to be a returning member in the Clinton ward, and I got to personally invite her to the temple! Yet, another, outward miracle...
And finally, ON THE SAME TRIP MIND YOU, reconvening with a former member I was able to feel the Lord's love, and even more graciously, feel answered... it was a celestial experience, to say the least.
SO YES, the outward versus the inward miracle. In Come Follow Me this week I read this commentary about Paul, " Paul had a “thorn in his flesh.”
.
The exact nature of this weakness of his is unclear.
Some people have speculated..
Temptation
Eye problems
Speech impediment
Migraines
We don’t know what his thorn was. But we do know this: he asked three times for this source of pain to be taken away.
And God said no all three times.
Could he have spread the good word further without it?
The answer is, it doesn’t matter.
Because he was never supposed to spread the word effectively on his own. And having that thorn allowed him to remember that Christ made up the difference...that Christ made all the difference.
Paul said he could “take pleasure in infirmities” because his reliance upon the Lord allowed “the power of Christ” to rest upon him (2 Corinthians 12:8, 10).
God was more concerned with refining Paul than healing Paul. More concerned about the inner miracle than the outer miracle.
Elder Hales talked about a similar experience he had during an extended period of very poor health and pain, he said,
On a few occasions, I told the Lord that I had surely learned the lessons to be taught and that it wouldn’t be necessary for me to endure any more suffering. Such entreaties seemed to be of no avail, for it was made clear to me that this purifying process of testing was to be endured in the Lord’s time and in the Lord’s own way.
It is one thing to teach, ‘Thy will be done’ (Matt. 26:42). It is another to live it.
I also learned that I would not be left alone to meet these trials and tribulations but that guardian angels would attend me...
Finally, even the Savior himself was asked to drink the bitter cup.
If you have plead for your own thorn of the flesh to pass and it has not, know you are in the best of company. And ask yourself this question given by Elder Bednar:.
Do you have the faith to not be healed?
Will you drink a bitter cup and not shrink?
For not shrinking is more important than surviving.”.Do not shrink. And know, without a doubt, that strengthening aid came for Paul. It came for Elder Hales. It came for Christ. And it will come for you!
And that is my story! I invite you all to search for miracles; both outwards and inwards. Seek the Savior, and with Him, you will find everything else. God is answering you and you are beautiful on the inside and the out. As I reach the red Zone of my mission, the stakes are high, the penalties are non-negotiable. Nevertheless, I know in whom I've trusted. He is the boat master here. He knows where to find the ore, he knows how to build the tools, and he knows how to help us get to the promised land. ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS and you too will be answered. I will persist until I succeed, and I. Will. Build. My. Boat. HAVE A GREAT WEEK Y'ALL. ELDER BOYD LOVES YOU!!
Your favorite boat builder,
Biggie Bag Boyd.
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